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Redneck lawn ornaments

Travel Tips by Don Burleson (an aspiring redneck)

As aspiring rednecks and collectors of rustic American folk art, we want to fit-in to our rural community, and we have been debating the merits of choosing lawn decorations.  We have over 60 acres and lots of room for fountains, statutes, and finding fine lawn art can show-off our good taste in 21st Century American Folk Art (*1).


Travis Carter - An authentic American Redneck folk artist

We support the arts, and we are happy to help aspiring folk artists, such as Travis Carter with his bold "doe bell" creations.  The "Assquatch" art movement is taking hold, and investment quality American butt art is in high demand.

Here are my notes proper appreciation and investment tips for the avante' garte  21st Century American Folk Art movement:

But it's not just deer butts.  Creative American artists are finding their voice with a variety of hinnies:


        Rat Butt                      Kitty Rump                 Squirrel Derriere

Let's take a close look at this exciting area of investment folk art.

Outdoor American Folk Art

The goal of my research is to find a uniquely American rustic redneck art form.  Lawn ornaments sometimes come with negative commutations, and they make a bold statement about you, so great care must be exercised.  It's well known that different cultures have difference taste in lawn art.  You also have to sensitive to cultural "poultry stereotypes", and their nationalistic connotations  (e.g. "Ever hear old joke about the Flamingo's who to moved to New York and put little plastic old folks on their front lawn?") 

In general, there the several categories of fine outdoor art:

  • Lawn Jockeys - This is the 21st Century equivalent of burning a cross, not a good thing.
     

  • Yard Birds - Certain species of bird statures are tied to nationalities, and rednecks are no exception.  Choosing the proper poultry to immortalize in a stature is a tough decision.  If a redneck wants a bird statue, it won't be no Flamingos.  A real redneck wants a chicken statue, a big one . . .  The one below is an eight foot tall all aluminum chicken (but weights nearly 1,000 lbs.), so you don't have to worry about jealous people stealin' him.
     

  • Statutes - Statutes often identify your nationality (i.e. lawn gnomes), so care must be taken to find distinctly American lawn art.  While outdoor statues are stately, but a bronze horse costs $30,000, far too pretentious for a true Redneck.  It just doesn't say "red neck". . . . However, we see a giant aluminum pig that caught our eye:

 

     Offensive KKK lawn ornament            Art Rooster                Pigs statues are in high demand in Dixie


A little research shows that the styles on 21st Century American lawn folk art ranges the gamut from simple to ornate.  Here are some distinctly American lawn art forms:

So what is the state-of-the-market for current American folk art?  We set out to scour America for the latest in 21st Century American folk art, investment quality redneck masterpieces by heretofore unknown but up-and-comin' artists.

In search of monumental American folk art

Janet and I was driving through the wide-open spaces of Montana.  Mile after mile of desolation, it was  rare treat to pull-over and hear true silence.  No car noise, on wind, not even the chirp of a bird.  Blissful nothingness, true isolation.


Overlooking Billings  Montana

Montana is a rural redneck nirvana, with lots of truck stops, liquor stores, gun shops and casinos.  This fellow put up a giant marquee to display the names of all people who have passed him bad checks (the name on the sign is fictional).  You don't see this in Times Square:


You will regret giving Ray a bad check

The one treasure in Montana is a new art form, distinctly American, the aluminum critter.  Let's take a close look.

Aluminum Critter Art

The long drives and open spaces of Montana can mess with your mind, and we were in just the right mood when we came across this great place called "Aluminum Critters".  No highfalutin bronze here, just re-cycled engine blocks, carefully melted and re-cast of southern American folk artists ( i.e. "Mexicans").  Once painted with a faux bronze paint, they kinda-sorta look like bronze, and at a fraction of the cost:

They have the best select of folk art lawn pigs that I've ever seen.  We had to get this wonderful American folk art horse statue.  It's "green", since the metal comes from chop shops in Mexico, who melt-down engine blocks for the aluminum used in their art.

As you can see, the base of the statue is a pre-cast well-cap, so we don't need to waste no money on something fancy. 

The art is done locally and the molds are shipped to Mexico for casting, so it's a distinctly American art form.  They also ship anywhere in the USA, with no extra charge for shipping additional items, quite nice:

 

 

References:

(1)  American Folk Art - Any crap made by a poor country person has always had intrinsic art value, with prices reaching over a million dollars for the rarest Colonial blue-collar Americana.  Also dubbed "Tramp Art", "primitive art" and "redneck art", lovers of rustic Americana will spend ridiculous sums on any artist, the less talented, the better:


       Priceless 18th Century folk art sampler

The sampler above was cheap talent-less hack when it was made, and even though it was practically worthless when it was made, it's now become rare American Folk Art, worth tens of thousands of dollars. 

Remember, if it's handcrafted by a redneck, it's valuable.

 

 

 

 

Note: The opinions expressed on these pages are the sole opinion of Donald K. Burleson and do not reflect the opinions of Burleson Enterprises Inc. or any of its subsidiaries.

Suggestions?  We are always seeking new tips for the professional at leisure, and any suggestions would be most welcome.  If you find an error or have a suggestion for improving our content, we would appreciate your feedback. 

Copyright 1996 -  2010 by Donald K Burleson. All rights reserved.